Holidays in the Sun

Warning: this post contains many unfounded, sweeping generalisations.

…A long day on a trip with multi-nationalities has just made me realise how different we all remain, and also that the three little words without which no British person could even function – ‘please’, ‘thank you’* and ‘sorry’ – appear to have no equivalent in a number of languages.  I will not name races – insert your own – and I can understand why ‘queuing’ might be an alien concept to some (it is clearly a cultural thing) but not why ‘not queuing’ is actually an acceptable excuse for some to physically barge past those who choose to patiently wait their turn, in order to get what they want when they want it, without any admission that other people even exist.  Most galling to we pathetic queuers is the absence of manners – a failure to even acknowledge that human interaction is vital.  Even more infuriating when we are in a place where our hosts are very much more mannerly than even the most uptight of us.  The world appears, quite suddenly, to be full of people who believe that they have the planet all to themselves.  Anyway, breakfast over…

Multi-cultural groups are always an education.  The guide will inevitably speak English which means they have a chance of being understood by almost everyone except Australians who have recently picked up the baton of wilfully ignoring everything they are told, doing everything they should not be doing, not doing everything they should.  I am fully aware that I am from a nation that has for many years had the reputation of supplying the very worst of all travellers, but since we have learned that it is not entirely necessary to drink until we collapse, demand egg and chips for every meal, or consider our host nation as less important than our own, we are – I hope – no longer viewed as quite so bad.  I have met many Australians and have always found them to be the very best of company – open, friendly and funny – but something seems to have happened since Crocodile Dundee.  I have no doubt that this view is a grossly unjust oversimplification, based on a tiny group of people who have been massively rude to both staff and fellow holidaymakers, but it is clearly apposite.  The gently mocking sarcasm of their conversation persists although no longer accompanied by a Shane Warne wink and smile, but a sneer instead.

Obviously we have just been unlucky with some of the company we have been keeping – quite surely they will be saying exactly the same thing about us – but I am saddened by it.  Travel is meant to broaden the mind, not narrow the outlook, and surely nicking the very last breakfast doughnut from right under my nose is not part of that…

I dared to ask for sunshine, and I got World War Three,
I’m looking over the wall and they’re looking at me…  Holidays in the Sun – The Sex Pistols

Look, I’m sure that I don’t have to explain that this piece is intended to be wholly ironical, but just in case, I will.  I do try very hard not to be a complete twat…

*I realise that ‘thank you’ is two words, but only really because autocorrect keeps telling me so.  You will have to excuse my inaccuracy.  Thankyou.