Sunnier

A sideways look at age, Colin McQueen - writer, Getting Older, Humour 2 Minutes

I am pleased to report that three weeks in the sunnier disposition of 2023 has so far survived influenza, New Year’s Day, my birthday and, at the time of writing, remains in place, tested, but as yet unbroken.  Now, before I start receiving acid comments – most of them from my wife – I would ask you to note that the word I so carefully chose (above) is a comparative adjective and not the more easily quantifiable simple adjective (e.g. sunny).  My sunny days, if ever they existed, passed long, long ago with Tank Tops, Cork Heeled Boots, tinned Pink Salmon and Tiger Nuts.  Not, I want you to understand, that I have ever been particularly morose – at least not for long – I am, in general, happy far more often than I am not.  I just, by and large, prefer to keep it to myself.

So, here is how sunnier works for me.  Life is full of ‘inputs’, each of which has any number of possible outcomes, ranging from the best possible at one end, the most likely in the middle and the inevitable crock of shit at the other.  Now, if I can somehow manage to lower the anticipated excrement level at that end, surely my disposition must automatically improve.  The knowledge that, like it or not, I will end up neck deep in the ordure, can only be lightened by the realization that it is unlikely to be quite as deep as it used to be.  In short, it is my intention to raise my faecal threshold against a background of a falling tide.

In fact, I wonder, could it be that the acceptance of doo-doo ahead, is in some way actually itself the source of my comparative sunniness?  Perhaps I am reconciled to always, ultimately, ending up in the muck: maybe the ‘bus’ of my life has ‘Poop’ on its destination board; I’ve paid my fare, I know where I’m heading, I can handle it – I’ve had a lot of practice – look at the shiny little smile on my face…

Perhaps I should clarify.  I have a very vivid imagination.  However bad things could possibly get, I can always think of something worse, so nothing – in my head – is ever quite as terrible as it might be.  Ipso facto, all in all, things are not too bad: they could always be much worse.

New Year came and went without a single substantial hit to either ego or id; my birthday passed without a solitary ‘dink’ to my mental armoury.  The outlook, as foreshortened as ever it seems to be at this time of year, holds nothing that troubles me more than it did a year ago.  I have resolved not to fear the unknown, because it is… unknown.  Unless anybody is able to tell me any different, it could be good, it might be bad, but it will never be that bad.  I have decided to drive with eyes ahead and not, for a change, fixed onto the rear-view mirror.

So here we are, a few weeks into the New Year – at what stage it becomes The Current Year, I am unsure – and whilst my expectations do not stretch quite as far as it being a good one, I am looking forward to not too bad, and I’m happy with that…

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22 thoughts on “Sunnier”

  3. On 23rd January I think we can officially call it “this year”. I hope it is positively ‘swell’ as they say here. Or they used to. I may be out of date. Also being assaulted by a geriatric cat…:)

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  4. I’ve been travelling on that same bus… Destination Poop. Only I’ve been forced to sit on the top deck with all of the angry nut cases who are willing me to turn around, or even cast the smallest of glances in their direction so that they can spit out their bile towards me with the ubiquitous words and phrases such as, “Are you looking at me, well… are ya, eh, are ya”? Whilst picking at their dirty fingernails with the tip of a flick knife! It seemed natural to get on that bus, but I’m hoping against all hope that there are a few stops on the way. If only I can make my way to the back of the bus without catching anyone’s eye…. Wish me luck…

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      2. My recollection is that they dried out your mouth like blotting paper, but they were a staple of my youth – and much cheaper than sweets I think.

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      4. Tell you what is a healthy yum: Freeze dried 🍓 strawberry pieces. Tell you what is expensive: Most yummy things that are healthy (or just everything these days).

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