Consider now the humble pig
Who has a brain that’s very big;
Who fate has cast, by some mishap
As perfect filling for a bap*.
Pity please the humble porker
Who never got to see Majorca:
No sun-dipped beach on which to lie,
For him the bottom of a pie.
Consider now his certain fate,
To end his days on dinner plate
Emulsified as paté starter,
Extruded in a chipolata.
How can it be, this brainy beast
Is viewed as nothing but a feast?
The answer lies in evolution –
To be less tasty, the solution.
Now, I haven’t eaten meat for years, but I have no bones whatsoever with those that do. It is a personal choice. Killing to eat and survive is certainly no crime. Although killing for fun is quite another thing, in my humble opinion: especially since we so revile other creatures that kill to live if their actions impinge upon us in any negative way. Anyway, pigs fascinate me in this way. My grandad always used to say that the only part of a pig that you cannot eat is the squeak. It is almost as if the animal had been especially created just for food. So, why is it so brainy? Even more perplexing, as it is so brainy, why doesn’t it do something about it? Why hasn’t it evolved cute? Maybe koalas are good to eat, but you wouldn’t eat one, would you?
*Bap – a bread bun. The average Briton has more words for the humble bread roll than the Inuit have for snow.