We are (or, by now, were) in Thailand.  A three-stop trip: a beautiful, tranquil hotel in a ‘jungle’ surrounding; a very plush tent out in the actual jungle, and finally a traditional beach-front hotel – although itself no less peaceful and beautiful.  The first thing that you notice when you arrive here is that the people are incredibly patient, helpful and friendly.  I’m sure that they must, as all nations do, have their grouches, but I have yet to meet them – even amongst their taxi drivers, who in most countries, are obliged to take a course in ‘Surly’ before getting the badge.  The women are incredibly beautiful (as, indeed, are some of the men, but that is a whole different story) and everyone appears genuinely quick to laughter.  What could possibly be wrong with that?

Generally on holidays I am unbothered by mosquito bites, but I have discovered that Thai mosquitoes are quite another story.  They are Ninja beasties, completely unaffected, it appears, by DEET and they laugh in the face of a citronella candle.  The only real answer is a very cheap repellent sold in every shop here.  What is in it, I have no idea – and I care even less – because the mozzies definitely do not like it.  My poor, ravaged legs, initially a mass of angry, raised red lumps are now a series of deep purple blotches and, thanks to the locally recommended white tiger-balm, the itching appears to have subsided substantially – thankfully before I have scratched all of my skin off, although it has been a close run thing…

The wildlife is stunning and a trek through the jungle reveals a breathtaking array of 2,4,6 and 8-legged creatures, as well as a goodly number (best avoided) of beasts that do not require limbs to get around – but do require large anti-venom centres for you to attend if you should catch one unaware.  The native fauna all seems to co-exist (eat one another) quite happily, and being woken in the early morning by a troupe of gibbons overhead is a gift I never anticipated receiving.

On a more prosaic note, the toilets here are beyond reproach – far cleaner, certainly, than almost any Public Convenience you might encounter in the UK – although they do have a tendency to attract the kind of wasps that look as though they might be perfectly capable of carrying off an average-sized toddler.  There are so many hungry lizards around here – from tiny geckos to massive Water Monitors – that they must present some kind of restraining challenge to insect numbers.  Serves the buggers right, I say.

Always a disciple of the local beers I have, a little disappointingly, discovered only two so far – probably tourist brews – with Singha far more to my own taste than Chang (and I have discovered that Thai whisky is far from the worst thing I have ever had in my mouth).  As a veggie I am always offered Thai Green Curry and fortunately it is delightful.  I could (and actually pretty much have) live on it for weeks – and if you like Mangoes, a word of caution, they are everywhere and they come sharp if they fall on your head.  They are not the greatest threat to life here, but almost certainly the sweetest….   

Here, there are lots of things to do
And a panoramic view
Of the Universe completely surrounding you…  Here In Heaven – Sparks (Mael)