Dinah & Shaw 13 – Spa

It was almost lunch time and Dinah felt more relaxed than she had felt in… well, however long it was since she had first met Shaw.  Not even the strange fit of the swimming costume she had been forced to borrow from her mother concerned her unduly.  In an ideal world she would have worn something a little less… accommodating, but baggy was the new ‘fitted’ wasn’t it?  Or would be.  Some day…

A day at the spa was, if she thought about it, not something she had ever bothered to dream about since she had met Shaw.  The wherewithal to run the shower was, at times, beyond her wildest imagination.  The lack of a fan in the tiny kitchen of her flat providing the nearest she ever came to a sauna.  Yet here she was, up to her neck in a hot tub with, as usual, absolutely no idea why.  She had seen Shaw pay for both of them on the credit card, with no idea of where he had got it from, and even less curiosity.  He put in a PIN, they accepted the payment and she had since spent the morning drifting serenely between sauna, steam room and hot-tub.  In a few minutes she would drag herself from the tub into the fluffy towelling robe and force herself to eat the luxury three course meal before navigating the darkened path to The Quiet Room and a couple of hours of undisturbed slumber.  She rested her head back onto the tiled surround, breathed in – a deep, contented, inward sigh – and opened one eye, just a slit, but wide enough to confirm what she already knew.
“What are you doing here?”
“Me?”
“Is there anybody else?”
Shaw checked over each shoulder and under the surface of the water.  “Er, no…”
“Well?”
“Well what?”
“Why are you here?”
Shaw pouted slightly.  “Where do you want me to be?”
“Don’t answer a question with a question!” Dinah snapped, unfairly she knew, but Shaw, ready as he was to ask ‘Why?’ could see in Dinah’s eye that it would be unwise to do so just now.  “We came in together,” she continued, “and yet I have absolutely no idea why we’re here.  I haven’t seen you once since we went off to our separate changing rooms, so why are you here now?”
“That’s a very… interesting costume you’re wearing,” said Shaw.
“You didn’t give me any warning about coming here, did you?  I had to borrow a costume from my mum.  She’s not quite the same shape as me…”
“No.”
“So why are we here and, more importantly, why are you here?”  Shaw opened his mouth to reply, but paused just slightly too long.  “And where,” continued Dinah, “did you get that credit card from?”
“It’s a company credit card.  I applied for it.  You keep telling me we need to be more professional.  I’ve got one for you in my bag.”
“You do know that we still have to pay the money back sooner or later don’t you?” asked Dinah.
“Of course,” said Shaw, although his eyes told a different story.
“Any idea how?”
“…Have you spoken to anyone since we’ve been in here?”
“No, why?”
“It’s what we do, isn’t it?”
“Oh is it now?  Well who do you want me to talk to?  Just point me at them and I’ll trot over.  I’ll even wag my tail if you like.”
Shaw, as usual, was totally immune to sarcasm.  “Have you got your lenses in?”
“I don’t wear lenses!  I’ve never worn lenses.  I don’t wear glasses either.  I have 50/50 eyesight.”
“I think you might mean 20/20.”
“It’s even better than that!  Now, would you like to tell me why we’re here?  I’m pretty certain that you didn’t just decide that I needed the break.”
“Mm, well… take a look around then, what do you see?  How would you describe the people here?”
“Middle aged?”
“And?”
“Middle class?”
“And?”
“… A little saggy generally… if I’m honest.  It looks to me like most of them are just here for a few relaxing hours with friends.”
Shaw cast his eyes around the pool area.  “And how many men do you think are here?”
“Counting you?”
“Why wouldn’t you count me…” he asked, sounding somewhat more pathetic than he’d hoped.  “I’m a man aren’t I?”
Dinah grinned.  “Six or seven,” she said.  “If I count you.”
Shaw shuffled over into the tub and sat beside her.  “What are you wearing?” she said.
“They’re just black trunks.”
“Well, they’re not really trunks are they?”
“So what would you call them?”
“I don’t know…  Were you ever in the Scouts?”
“These are new.”
“Are you sure?”
“Well, yes.  They’re definitely new to me, yes.”
“You definitely didn’t buy those, Shaw, not even you.  Where did you find them?”
“They were in my bag.”
“Are you sure it was actually your bag?”
Shaw looked down at the shorts.  “I might have got a little distracted,” he said.
“You certainly did,” said Dinah.
“Look,” said Shaw, determined to take back control of the conversation.  “How many men do you think are here with friends?”
“What do you mean?”
“As opposed to partners, how many men do you think are here with friends?”
“Do men actually have friends?”
“Not that they would come to a spa with, I would say.”
“Right, so we’re saying they’re all with partners then, right?”
“Yes,” agreed Shaw.  “We’ll say they’re all with partners… even me.  So, how many are with their own partners do you think?”
“Ah,” said Dinah.  “So we’re looking for someone who’s cheating then are we?”
“Are we?”
“I don’t know…  Aren’t we?”
“Well, according to your 50/50 eyesight, we’ve got six or seven possible philanderers to work our way through.”
Dinah stifled a giggle.  “Philanderers?  Where did you get that word from, ‘The Victorian Private Detectives Handbook’?”  She began to haul herself from the tub, but then, remembering the swimsuit she was wearing, turned instead and headed for the steps.  She looked again with disbelief at Shaw’s shorts as she made her way past him.  “You’d better come with me,” she said, holding out a hand which Shaw gripped immediately and gratefully.  “So, have we actually got a case here?” she asked.  “I mean, are we being paid by anybody, for anything at all?”
“There must be somebody here who needs our help, don’t you think?”
Dinah looked into Shaw’s eyes, but all she could see was a puppy.  She sighed.  “O.k. I’ll try to talk to some people after lunch,” she said, climbing slowly out of the water.
“You might want to get a safety pin for that costume,” said Shaw…

First published 27.10.2023

I had just spent – extremely reluctantly – a day at a spa. It is not my natural habitat. Most of the men there looked uncomfortable to varying degrees, but a few of them appeared to be just a little too close, a little too attentive to their partners. As usual, I found myself eavesdropping into the strange, uncomfortable conversations of people who are thrown into intimate proximity without really knowing one another. It would, I decided, be a great place to put Dinah & Shaw…