Zoo #6 – Spider

A sideways look at age, Blogging, Colin McQueen - writer, Getting Older, Humour, Memories, My Life, Poetry, Real life through the kaleidoscope of age 2 Minutes

Though we tried so hard to hide her,
Tried our very best to guide her,
To a space that’s open wider,
Still she looked around and spied a
Teeny weeny little spider –
Sad to say it terrified her.

A true story.  We were on holiday in Northern Cyprus.  The apartments were new and recently opened.  On the second night I was cleaning my teeth when my wife screamed.  I ran through into the bedroom as she was running out.  When I finally calmed her down with the application of gin and pretzels, she told me that there was a mouse in our bed, under the pillow.  I went through and, sure enough, there was a little tail peeping out.  I went into the kitchen to grab a pan and returned to catch it.  I lifted the pillow and discovered that the ‘tail’ was, in fact, the leg of a tarantula!  Panic set in as I did not want to try and catch it, only to let it escape under the bed, so I went for help.  The man at the reception followed me back to the room, his eyes full of ‘Oh you English’ amusement when I tried to explain how big this spider was.  I showed him into the bedroom, lifted the pillow and he flipped.  When I eventually calmed him down – I had to buy more gin the next day – we carried the pillow outside together and shook the giant spider off.  It wandered away un-phased and the man from the reception tried to climb the wall.  The following day men in full protective suits arrived and sprayed the undergrowth all around our apartment.  A week later, as we packed to go home, we found the spider’s spouse behind the curtain…

Like ourselves, I’m sure you will not believe that there are tarantula’s in Cyprus.  Look it up, you’ll find that there are.

Now, you’d think, wouldn’t you, that such an experience would ensure that my wife was in no way scared of the tiny little fellas that we get scuttling around our house in the UK?  Well, you’d be wrong…

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23 thoughts on “Zoo #6 – Spider”

  3. Well, we have all sorts of them here but mostly common garden spiders although there are Tarantulas, Black Widows, and Brown Recluse here as well. I say that certain creatures belong outdoors. If they are unfortunate enough to make it into the house and especially if they make someone scream, I am the official executioner. They will sometimes give me the heebie-jeebies but I am not afraid.

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  6. This tale of a tail that’s not a real tail
    But a leg — and a hairy one, mind —
    Is enough to turn hairs on my chinny-chin pale
    And make the flesh creep up my spine.
    And so every night ere I snuggle up tight
    Each pillow I’ll check for some feet
    That may not belong, and sing a brave song
    So I those arachnids won’t meet.

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  7. Since we’re visiting Fantasyland and its nearing Halloween, lets toss in another?
    Here’s this travellers tip;
    When on an adventurous trip
    Check’ neath the pillowslip
    For something traumatically scary,
    A nasty trap for the unwary
    An eight legged Tarantula, all hairy.

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      1. I understand. When visiting my brother in Arizona I found a scorpion inside the shoe I was about to put on- said shoe inside the closet, yards from outdoor access. Pesky little poisonous critters. I was almost a hopalong casualty!

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