Aah Yes, I Remember It Well…

…So, I know that I had an idea for today.  I was so taken by it that I wrote it on my, on the back of my, of my… I might be able to find it in my pockets if I could only remember what pair of trousers I was wearing.  Or was it pyjamas?  On a scrap of paper.  I wrote it on a scrap of paper.  I tore it from the… It must be in my trouser pocket.  I never wear pyjamas.  Not during the… you know, when the curtains are open.  I do in bed.  These days.  Containment is the secret at my age.

Gas bill!  It was a gas bill.  I wrote it on the back of a gas bill.  Or electric.  I wrote it on the back of a bill.  Could have been gas, electric, credit card, water rates… It was definitely a bill, I’m sure of that.  Unless it was a letter, although nobody writes letters these days, do they?  Except the insurance company.  I don’t think it was on the back of one of their letters.  They fill both sides.  Like… I was watching the football, no the darts, on the telly… It was a flyer from the man who wants to clean my gutters, my windows, repave my drive.  I ripped it off and put it in my cardigan pocket.  That should be easy, I only have one of those.  Blue.  Big pockets…

I found it!  Brown.  No pockets.  No paper in them, but it’s ok.  I remember now, I wrote the idea on my… you know, not lapdance, little grey job.  You lift the lid and… laptop!  I wrote it on the, I was drinking tea at the time.  I seldom drink tea but I was having a biscuit.  You know, black and white, swims a lot… No wait, it was coffee.  And a Hobnob.  I got crumbs on the keyboard.  Penguin!*  But it wasn’t a Penguin, it was a… I’ve just checked the crumbs.  It was a cheese sandwich.  I wrote down the… not needle is it?  PIN!  I wrote down the PIN so I’d… you know, so I could get the lapdog working.  I wonder what I wrote it on?

Never mind, my wife, my daughter, the DPD delivery driver, he got it working for me.  No PIN apparently.  One less thing for me to… I checked in my Documents, but there was nothing.  Forget!  One less thing for me to forget.  But there was nothing in my documents that I could, you know, find.  All good though.  The DPD driver showed me how to set up a Direct Debit.  Used his bank details as an example…

Not that it matters.  I realised when I gave the postman, Tesco driver, man in the cap the cheque, that I had written the idea on paper.  All I have to do is to find the… not pencil, I don’t use a pencil.  It wipes off on my sleeve.  Especially wool.  I would have used a pen, if I was wearing a cardigan…

I’ve checked the cardigan.  Purple.  Very small.  Would fit my…  No paper in the pockets though.  Wife!  It would fit my wife, not me.

I used a red pen.  I remember now.  I saw it on a pad near my… It was blue and the pad was, it had a frog on the cover, or maybe a skyscraper.  Or a pyramid.  Either way, I remember it clearly because my pencil was laid across it.  Titchy orange rubber on the end, should I want to…  except it was just an idea.  I wouldn’t… I would just scribble it out wouldn’t I, if I thought it was…

Anyway, let’s forget it for now.  I have a, what do you call them, a blog to write and I could really do with, the kind of thing I used to worry about in the… where was I?  Idea!  That’s it, I just need, not constipation, it’s…  I always write it down when it strikes unexpectedly.  Inspiration!  I always write it down when it…

I’m sure I had an idea when I started, I wonder where I put it?

*A chocolate covered biscuit, popular in the UK, best known for being advertised by a man with a stutter.