Be careful of them – vicious things
Can break your arms with beating wings –
And if you venture near their eggs
I’m sure that they could break your legs.
And if they’ve got a Cygnet brood
Don’t try to calm them down with food:
You won’t appease them with your bread
They’ll only peck your heels instead.
They’re always ready for a fight,
Like Al Capone all dressed in white.
Don’t think that this is Donald Duck,
These giant birds don’t give a damn*.
The fearsome reputation of the swan is undeserved and erroneous. I have fed swans from my hand many times, if anything they are more circumspect than ducks or geese – and certainly less likely to take a chunk of flesh than a squirrel. The trick is to let them approach you. Like all birds, they will attempt to protect their nests and chicks – they will make themselves look as big as they can**. Swans, like most birds, have hollow, lightweight bones: their wings will snap much more easily than a human arm. They do have powerful legs though, and clawed feet that you might want to keep out of the way of. We all know how the upper, serene part of a swan’s body is at odds with the maelstrom that is paddling madly below-decks. I think if I was expected to remain impeccably stately at all times, whilst being obliged to paddle like the clappers beneath the water line, I might just get a bit short tempered myself from time to time…
*For those scant few people of the same age as me – like Nausius in ‘Up Pompeii’, I couldn’t think of a rhyme there.
**Q. How big can an angry swan look? A. Very.
Are they kept in a zoo, there? I have this notion (probably ill-conceived) that they are a big part of British culture.
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They are out and about everywhere – all owned by the Queen (and so have to be counted annually) on rivers, lakes and big ponds. Well, they have big ponds in zoos don’t they? 😉
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Nausius? Ooo, going down that old dark passage are we? Well, please yerself!
On a quiet weekend retreat to a country BnB a couple of years ago, with the summer sun setting, a few glashes of shauvignon shloshing in our bellies, my wife, my daughter and her hubby went out to see the ‘pretty birdies’ on the mill pond. Four inebriated fools back-pedalling while trying to retain their balance and precious wine-glasses = a win for Big Bird.
Oh, how we laughed about it, later, from the shelter of the screened verandah.
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😂😂😂
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Sadly, an all too true story. There’s getting nicely pissed and there’s getting frightfully pissed. That bird gave me a right old hissy piss.
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😂
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Swans look beautiful but like their smaller cousins Geese I’ve seen them get mean. I’m glad you wrote about them I wouldn’t want to tick a swan off
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The most wasted of all days is one without laughter
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Geese are SO much more aggressive than swans though…
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True but nesting swans are dangerous
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Only if you choose to approach them.
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I guess but In my younger days I lived on the edge
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Daredevil! 😊
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