Zoo # 25 – Lion Fish

As a boy I was very taken with the ‘Little Willy’ poems.  Sadly, I have absolutely no recollection of who they were written by, nor where I read them, but I do remember that the form of these little rhymes never varied.  I can remember two of them today – over fifty years on:

Little Willy with a shout
Gouged the baby’s eyeballs out;
Stamped on them to make them ‘Pop!’ –
Mother cried, ‘Now William stop!’


Little William with a roar
Nailed the baby to the door.
Mother cried, with humour quaint,
‘Careful Will, you’ll mar the paint.’

A have absolutely no idea why they appealed to me so greatly, but I thought it was about time that I allowed myself to take inspiration from them.  I hope that whoever wrote the originals will forgive me…

Little Willy, with a yen,
Threw baby in the lion’s den.
Mother seemed to be quite happy –
‘It was almost time to change his nappy.’

Sadly, it was at this point that I realised that at least fifty percent of my readers (‘Hello’ to both of you) will not know what a nappy is (actually the diminutive of napkin I believe – although how it came to be wrapped about a baby’s nethers I am not sure).  I understand that American babies have diapers (the etymology of which completely escapes me) and I couldn’t make that rhyme in any sensible way, so I tried again.

Little Willy with a yell
Dropped the baby down a well
Filled up with piranha fish –
Mother whispered ‘Make a wish.’

Which, in the end, I’m probably happier with…

22 thoughts on “Zoo # 25 – Lion Fish

  1. Little Colin makes me worry
    He’s always in a big big hurry.
    To make my eyes wide and blurry
    with tears of laughter as I scurry


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  2. I know a couple of these,

    Little Willie, full of glee
    Put radium in grandma’s tea
    Now he thinks it quite a lark
    To see her glowing in the dark

    Little Willy went out West
    Where he heard the food was best
    Now they’ve laid him down to rest
    With a concrete meatball in his chest

    Little Willy just for fun
    Shot his daddy with a BB gun
    His mommy said, “Now shame on you,
    You should have shot him with the .22”

    Not to be a nitpicker or anything, I hope, but, er, what about the lion fish?

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    1. We snorkelled in the Red Sea a few years ago completely surrounded by LionFish. I had no idea then – as I do not now – whether they were at all harmful to humans. They LOOK as though they could be. The most tortuously meandering swim back to the pontoon I can ever remember!

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      1. Well, I asked der google this question about 15 seconds ago and apparently they can be dangerous but aren’t aggressive and human stings are accidental.

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