This is not about me. This is not about my wife. This is not about anybody I know. I feel that this is a point I must make before I go any further. The whole is not about anybody in particular, but the parts are about everybody. I have no idea why we all have the capacity to get on other people’s nerves quite so much – but we do. I am particularly good at it, I know. I don’t mean to do it, but my hit rate is unfeasibly high. My problem is that my tongue moves way before my brain has had time to slip into gear. I don’t (often) say bad things, just the wrong things. It’s a gift.
Anyway, this rhyme does not have a title because I know, if it did, it would upset someone and, quite honestly, it’s just meant to be amusing…
I know I shouldn’t breathe so loud, I know that I’m a fool.
I know that I am always wrong, that’s why you lose your cool.
I know that I’m a waste of space and always in the way.
I know you’re right to take offence at everything I say.
I realise life’s hard for you and that I just don’t see
Whenever things go wrong for you, it’s all because of me.
I apologise – I’m in the way. I know I stand too near.
I know that when you want me, I am never ever here.
I understand it’s true and that it needs repeated stating,
But every now and then I get so very irritating.
I know you need the chocolate – I can see what it has triggered.
It’s just a spot, I swear it’s not your whole face that’s disfigured.
I put the vase too near the edge, that’s why you knocked it off.
I know it’s not your fault and I would never, ever scoff.
So just lay down, relax a while; we really shouldn’t carp
And darling, please put down that knife – it’s very very sharp…
I’ve just realised that this is my 100th post. As I set out with the intention of posting just once a week, this landmark has arrived far more quickly than I anticipated. I will have been blogging for a year in November and, I fear that I might have to scale back a little at that time, both for the sake of my sanity and the good of your patience (which I may be beginning to stretch). I think that two posts a week will probably prove more manageable for me (Wednesday and Saturday perhaps) and I will be less inclined to repeat myself. If I write more, I will publish it anyway. The alternative is to publish shorter pieces, but, as I am such an old windbag, that will probably not work for me. Perhaps I can drop in these occasional poems (unexpectedly well-received) as additional pieces – that might work. Anyway, what I actually wanted to say was thank you for sticking with me so far, and I hope you will bear with me if, in the future, I do cut down a little.
Love the poem, but sad you won’t be posting so much. A mixed bag of emotions 😵
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Ok, so when I chose that emoji it had spinning eyes, which suited my mixed reaction as well as summed up me being ill and a bit feverish. However, now the emoji has become DEAD, with crosses for eyes. Which is quite sinister. Not my intention, and now I fear the Internet is threatening me. Hmm.
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Oh, sorry you’re unwell. Get well soon. (Never even noticed the emoji 😬)
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They’re a bad habit I really need to break.
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Thank you. We’ll see how it goes. I’m just worried that I might start publishing crap (I know, I know) If I can continue at three I will. Thank you for your support 😊
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